who's treasure : part deux....

Maybe it was fate that this weekend I turned on my tv before turning in for the night and Hoarders was on. Of course, my house is no where near the extreme of anyone on the show, but I can certainly see the train of thought that helped get them into that unmanageable condition. I have experienced those same thinking patterns. As I have been going through all the treasures weeding through the useless junk and important papers mounds of neglected shredder fodder, there has been many times I slapped myself in the head, felt Kimi kick me in the butt..... actually more like Cher in Moonstruck when she slaps Nicholas Cage and yells "snap out of it!" (side note, one of my favorite moments, from one of my favorite movies btw, I highly recommend it!)
Oh I still have a long way to go, piles of junk and alot of organizing to do in my future, but I am pleased at my beginning.... and for that I am thankful... finding alot of things I do want to take care of on my crafting Tuesdays... special memories to share in scrapbooks, so I can show how special they are... visibly share them, and look at them myself to fondly remember what has been my past... Not letting them be shoved in a box, unable to be enjoyed and remembered. And also, being able to let go of the stuff that really isn't important. Keeping the junk does not make the memory.... nor does it enhance the memory by just having it.. or letting it sit and take up space.... It is not an easy task to realize what is really important to you, compared with just not being able to get rid of something.... and if there is no connection, then why the inability to let go? Or why is there sometimes irrational attachment to things? I do not know the answer to these things. If I did I could be the next Dr Phil.. I just know, it is in my plan of action, to be accountable to myself in being honesty about which is which.... true attachment, and if so, how to best honor and remember that attachment... or no real attachment, just the need to hang on to hoard ... see honesty!!

who's treasure?

Ok, so to fully accomplish my goals, I must make a few changes. I am still trying to find places for all my precious belongings crap  that I can't live without hoard ! If my goal was to one day be on The Messiest House In the US, or  Hoarders, I would be well on my way to success! However, since that is NOT my goal,  I am on my path to Clean Sweep! This is not necessarily an easy task. Why on earth do I think I will someday wear that article of clothing ... like if I were that size again it still wouldn't be 15 years out of date? And do my grandkids really need every toy my 4 kids ever had to play with? Now, I do know that part of the pleasure my kids had at my mom's was getting out the few toys no one had anymore... but come on...how many Star Wars action figures do we really need to accomplish that? Come on man! (or woman as this case may be) So far what I have done has been a good start just a drop in the bucket. I am not giving up though.... I really just need to make a donation to goodwill a  huge dumpster. You know what they say... one man's trash is another man's treasure usually still trash! I have a whole attic and basement to examine the truth  of that statement. But first, let's tackle the challenge of our living spaces. Declutter is a wonderful concept if indeed I can make it happen. Only time will tell..... and maybe a few reminders kicks in the butt, from those who will be willing to hold me accountable Kimi (my clean sweep artist).

"I wanna be.." Kimi's question

Taking on Kimi's blog question from her "I wanna be" blog ....
I wanna be...
* a labor and delivery nurse
* a sign language interpreter
* a musical genius
* a martha stewart
* a snappy dresser
* a home remodeler
* a great decorator
* a real artist
* a blogger people love to read and comment on
* a loving mom
* a devoted wife
* the best nonnie
* that friend you can't wait to talk to
* someone people can count on
* fair
* healthy and in good shape for my age
* a great cook
* an exceptional baker
* a  frugal shopper
* unafraid
* funny
* imaginative
*  insightful
* spontaneous
* open and transparent in worship
* completely open to be used of God
* becoming more like Jesus everyday

where on earth have I been?

I can not believe how long it has been since my last blog. It has been a busy fall, with much to do, many blessings, milestones, fun, sadness, growth, frustrations... any human emotion you can think of. The point of all that is that I must take a breather and decide on what topic to tackle first, or they will all end up in one big jumble of a blog... not good! So, soon I will get back to business. I intend to relay our camping disasters adventures for all to laugh at see. I will also share some very personal times in my life on my other blog Colossians 3:17 .. Live It! I hope you will enjoy both should you read them. So, see ya soon I hope!

What is next?

I don't know where to start! That is the story of my life! No matter what the thing is at hand, I more often that not, just can't get started! It is incredibly frustrating to me. I want to make so many changes, accomplish so much and yet here I am... every day it seems..... just not knowing where to begin. I always try the making lists route, and make list after list, but still not much seems to get crossed off of them. I will continue on the list route, partly because I secretly hope one day it will take off, and partly because for some reason, it just feels satisfying to get it down on paper... and to be honest, at least one thing will usually get done, and even if it is a small thing at least it is something. I have rooms I want to change, junk I wanna get rid of, and a whole list of this I want to pick up in my life again. But to clearly begin, I feel I need to purge... purge junk outta my house and purge defeat outta my vocabulary.  I need to be a little more positive with myself. I am most often, my harshest critic as I am sure most of us are.  I have accomplished things here... my dining room was a huge project... and one to be proud of... but there were off shoots that were intended to go with it.... the playroom and my craft closet.... and of course, they didn't happen. But I should still be proud of what I did finish. It was the most entailed and biggest project I ever tackled. And rug shopping? Amazing that I could even choose a direction, ... of course with some assistance and encouragement from Kimi I found two rugs and they are hard at work cushioning my feet and Colton's tushy. I need to learn to trust myself..... no confidence at all.... at least not in decorating.  Lots of busyness in other areas doesn't make it any easier.. after all, we are kicking off a new program at church, and we have a wedding to help pull off.......I know all will get done, mostly because if I do one thing right, that is to surround myself with great people to work along side of!  So long story short, and to keep me accountable,  I hope to update you this week with at least one project that I have accomplished... big or small.. I don't care, just to be able to cross it off  my list would be great..... I will let you know how I did.... I hope with a great big smiley face here!! or maybe pics if it is a pic-worthy item! Wish me luck!!

camping? 2

Ok, so before I even get a chance to chronicle the adventures of the camping LoMaglio's..... we get a new fly in the ointment! So, why do we need transmissions anyway? I have come to the conclusion that all modes of vehicles are overrated... except maybe the horse.... although if I had a horse undoubtedly he would always be throwing a shoe...... or if he were pulling a wagon I would always be one wheel short..... Yep, you guessed it... the nice pulling vehicle we bought now needs a transmission! uuggghhhhh! Good grief I feel like Charlie Brown sometimes.... never quite able to kick that stupid football..... or get my kite outta the trees! So, long story short our vacation is at stake here..... we only get away 2 weeks outta the whole year for pete's sake(or attempt to as this case may be) is that really soooooo much to ask? I'm not asking for a honeymoon anymore...although I certainly wouldn't turn one down.... nor am I asking for some thousands of dollars trip to some luxury resort.... just a simple camping trip.... just a week away with my hubby... nothing to do except what we want.... really??? really???? Now a $2600 transmission stands in our way....so in essence this now becomes that thousands of dollar trip without all that luxury...... except having a car for me to drive would be nice but certainly not a luxury since it is over 10 years old with no air conditioning.......ahhhh... well, it is what it is... God will have to make the way..... and if the way is a staycation then of course we will deal..... but it's ok to vent here a bit isn't it..... and even bemoan the loss of our short time away .... I am thinking that is one of the benefits of having a blog.... even one that hardly anyone reads.... lol .....♫♫ "it's my blog and I can whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whine if I want to.. you would whine toooo if it happened to you ♪♫.....(sing that over nice and loud!!... it really is rather freeing...)

camping?

Well, most of you know all of our camping adventures! I very much wish I was blogging from the beginning, because I am starting to forget the order of  our escapades into the camping world. All I can say is, I must really love the camping life because there has been many many things that happened where I normally would have said forget the whole thing! The benefit outweighs the grief I suppose. The fellowship I have enjoyed with all the people I love to camp with is good and satisfying deep in my soul. Even with all our exciting..... challenging.... harrowing..... "only the LoMags" moments, I would not trade a bit of it! No, we were not raised campers.... but I hope we are raising some. I just wish we had started years ago when we could have enjoyed what camping can mean with Alfie and Cristen when they were young too. It is a total different mindset I have come to realize. I live for those few weeks out of the year..... I would go more often if we were able. Yes, even in my problematic camper...... with our problematic vehicles..... put the world on the back burner... spend time with my hubby.... enjoy my beloved friends and family whom I don't get to see as often as I would like anymore...... Just sit back, enjoy God's handiwork and even get some excellent preaching and teaching out of most of out trips! Who could ask for more? Ok, sometimes I ask for a better camper and newer vehicle... I admit it..... but God has brought us through each trip no matter what the obstacle that popped up for us. There were certainly a few scary issues that could have gone badly for us if He hadn't, but with God, a good sense of humor, and great friends, we have made it this far in our camping life. I have been told I should write all these down, and I just might.... starting with camping trip 1... before I forget it all.... stay tuned!

MIA

Ok, so, I have been missing in action for a long while now. I have to say I have missed blogging. Maybe because it is just good to feel like I am talking and someone is listening. I have thought of at least a half dozen things to blog about, but just never got around to actually sitting down and typing it all. I do have to say however, I have not been idle. I actually stripped wall paper, washed, primed , and painted the walls of my dining room! My first big project ever... which is a tiny bit sad considering I am 52... Anyway, so far, I love it all.... and am more than mildly proud of me! Something finally feels like me. I do have to give credit to Kimi for pointing me in some color directions. But otherwise, I feel like I am finally trying on my "style". Finally, attempting to find out who I am... There is not too much in my entire house that I have ever picked out myself. All picked for me or handed down to me,or picked because the price was right and it fit the need,which is fine, and many of them I would choose, but not actually me picking what is me. So at 52, I am on a journey to find me. Not someone's daughter, someone's wife, someone's mother... etc.. all of that I am of course, but who IS me? I am telling you, when the things you have known, are used to and been part of are no longer there, you notice things like that. When the kids are gone, and friends move on.... it all comes down to who you are. And you better know yourself. When you realize there is no one calling you for lunch, or inviting you over for dinner, or whatever.... you start to think, maybe something was neglected in your life.... Where are my friendships. I envy those when I see them in others. I don't know how to find them now... but I am going to find out! When everything changes you start to wonder if you really knew who you were. Doubt yourself sort of. At least that has been my experience lately. I have felt utterly alone in a crowd. And I have been surprised by it! So, I am off on a journey. I would be thrilled for you to come with me. Maybe it can prepare you in some way that you will never feel the kind of stuff I have been feeling. Is this some weird midlife crisis.... I don't think so, I think it may be more normal than people talk about, those "empty nest" type feelings. So, off on the journey I/we go.... So, as I said (in song during my special) I am cleaning out some closets, figuratively and literally. Not holding on to stuff I no longer want, or never did want in the first place. Then, I am going to do it all... friends, really painting(art), decorating, find where I belong in ministry(not just filling the spaces but where God really wants me), find me and all the things I like, take comfort in, do well... the me only my Savior knows and can use for His glory..... I don't know me... do you know me?..... if you see me, tell me I am looking.....

Working out the me in me...

If you are looking for "fluff" stop right here.... getting serious for today. If you don't wanna, that's ok, I will see you on another day! ;P

There is a song by Casting Crowns called Stained Glass Masquerade. If you don't know it, it talks a little about how we as Christians put on our "church faces" often hiding what we are really going through. Like we can't really show ourselves to each other. We are asked how we are doing and often just say "good". There is a verse that says "but would it set me free if I dared to let you see the truth behind the person you imagine me to be?" This is where it feels I am finding myself. Unsure of who I am, not prepared for how I feel, and completely unsure of who I can share my feelings with. Who will accept the real me, when I finally find her? I am going through so many unexpected emotions. Some of them I have kept to myself for a long time, and am still surprised how raw they can be. Some of them are new and happening just because of life's changes, but that doesn't necessarily make them easier to know that . I am realizing more than ever how I close myself off from other people. Never sharing the trials and challenges that make up Leigh. I find I am lacking the real close relationships... the.... you can say anything, it won't go any further.... I can't wait to tell you about this...remember when ....friendships that I so long for. I am finding myself lonely I guess. Now, I do have Al, this is not a knock on him.... and I do have Jesus, and believe me I have done my share of crying out to Him.... but don't your girlfriends fill a different spot than either... I feel almost embarrassed with that thought because I truly believe Jesus is all sufficient, so then I think, how can I be feeling this way? There have been friends in my life where I have gotten close to that... but again, I am the guarded one.... I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to deepen all of my relationships.... hence, all my song postings on facebook... at least music is my constant(I don't know how I would function without that lol). I want that friend I can say... listen I am having trouble with this right now....... to. Friends that I could say "what are you doing, wanna hang".... yes 52 year olds still like to hang.... but most of all I miss the memories friends give you... it feels like I haven't made any of those in a while... I don't know what God is doing inside of me... it does feel like chaos..... Please don't get me wrong... I have joy and tons I do love about where I am right now, I am just trying to be "real" about my feelings.... this is my first attempt at "putting myself out there" not hiding behind that mask anymore. I hope this didn't come off as a pity party... that is why I rarely let this stuff out.... but I want to be honest, to you and to myself..... maybe this blog can help me get there.....

Dancing?

Ok, so my kids got me Just Dance for Mother's Day! I have played it a few times... I am not so sure that what I am really doing is dancing, however, it is getting me up on my feet... arms moving... booty shakin'.... feet slidin'.... and NO, I don't wanna see what I look like..... I just pretend I look like the dancer on the screen. I can take some comfort in the fact that I have beat Tommy both times we played.... a fact he is not at all happy with, but let's face it..... it is probably the only physical activity I can beat him in... at least for the time being. I am sure the more he plays the better he will get.... as for me, I may be at the top of my game already.... lol. I just like to think, maybe, just maybe, it can get me ready for zumba.... I do have to say, I know why the doctor called my "de-conditioned"..... time to re-condition.... hmmmm, re-conditioning.... that could be a whole blog topic in and of itself....

you know this song... Whatever You're Doing(Something Heavenly) this is where I find myself...hope you enjoy the ride with me!

http://youtu.be/XfZ3THjUcs0

"It's time for healing time to move on

It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

whatever You're doing inside of me,

it feels like chaos but now I can see

This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."
Prov. 24:12

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/

Came across this blog today thanks to my Compassion friend Michelle, who is an advocate as well. This blog has nothing to do with Compassion, but todays post titled Who Cares? really touched my heart. I do not know this person, but I think I will visit her blog often. I have been increasingly aware, probably due to my involvement with Compassion, of the needs of the children of the world. Children outside of this country, children who are poor, hungry, uneducated, helpless to change their position and if left alone unlikely to escape the hopelessness of poverty. What ever I have already done, I can do more..... however many children I have helped, I can help more...... I stand utterly ashamed at how often I allow myself to "wish" I had this or that.... never thinking that there are some that have soooo little, they just hope for one meal that day.... or maybe a second set of clothes.... or even a nights sleep without listening for the buzz of disease waiting to bite..... oh, I could do so much more..... my prayer is that I will..... and God won't leave me alone until I do.... The author of this newly found blog has much to teach me......

How on earth do you choose?

I am finding out that the most difficult part about blogging is topic choice. There are just so many options! From the nonsensical fluff to the extremely topical, I find myself thinking about all these possibilities and getting bogged down in decisions. Maybe once I get good and started this will become easier... there is time for all topics, and I don't have to feel that is I don't do this one today, it is lost forever. So, I guess my choice for today will be ...... (trumpet resounding)......

It is my anniversary!! Yep, 34 years of bliss(haha) well.... you know us.... anyway, for just being 2 kids(18 and 19) trying to make the best out of finding ourselves in a not so perfect situation, I declare us as.... winning! We have been through life's joys and sorrows in our years together. Now, we can both be difficult people I am sure(obviously Al is way more difficult than I, haha...... it is MY blog after all...), we have our issues..... he is loud... I am phobic.... he is excitable..... I am indecisive..... (no, I won't go on.... you can add your own in your head if ya wanna) ..... yeah, we bicker( I know some of you may think this is an understatement) , but I know there has never been a time when either of us didn't consider our promise to God and each other as a life long commitment. I just want it understood, that in no way can either of us take the credit for this longevity. It is Jesus all the way.... He is the perfection in our weaknesses. It is only in HIM that we can make each other stronger..... So, if you were to ask me how to make a marriage work... put JESUS in the center of it........ All in all, it has been a wonderful 34 years. I wouldn't change anything. 4 wonderful kids here, 1 precious "angel" in heaven that I can not wait to meet, 7 of the greatest grandkids around so far with more to come , my two oldest kids with wonderful spouses, my third ready to embark on a new life with a very sweet girl, and my youngest ready to fly the nest to pursue his dreams......... all shared with my high school sweetheart.... who knew...... Happy Anniversary to us!

So, what next?

So, now I blog? I suppose the next step is to come up with topics? If I keep this a private blog, does it really matter what I write about? On the other hand, if I let it be seen, do I have anything at all anyone would want to read about? I guess I am not sure what a "blog" is supposed to accomplish. Is it just for venting?... deep thoughts?..... mindless blabber?..... keeping my peeps up to date?..... Maybe it is a little of all of these. So, lets say I just type whatever is on my mind at the moment I decide to blog. It is likely to be any or all of those things, so be ready to be bored, be challenged, be informed, and maybe even smile from time to time. If I offend however, that is not my intention, so please pardon me if I do. I must say as I type this, I am mildly amused by the fact I may be typing only to myself..... if I never allow another living person to see this, then that means I am talking to me..... does that make me a little crazy? Now, mind you, I am aware that many think me not just a little crazy, but possibly intensely insane..... but does this prove their point? I suppose I have at one point or another bored myself, challenged myself,informed myself and even laughed at myself, but I am not sure I need to prepare myself that I may do that. In fact, my old nature will even offend me as well! Anyway, I guess that is enough of this post. Kimi may be the only one to ever see anything... at least she can let me know if I should "put myself out there" so to speak!

So this may go in the "mindless blabber" file. :)

What is new?

Apparently, the fact that I may blog..... and I say may because I am not sure at all that I am doing this correctly. So, here is my first attempt to set one up. I have not at all decided what I will blog about. Not so sure I really have anything to say, or that anyone would want to read.... I may not even tell anyone I have one... but here goes the trying...